True Love - 3/12/12

Every time I see you,
My hands start to shake.
My minds pounding with thoughts I can't control,
And every muscle in my body aches.
I try not to look at you to maintain the little composure I have left.
Trying to block out the surroundings,
And all the noise,
It's almost as if I'm now deaf.
Staring at a napkin on the the table at which I'm drawing on to keep busy.
But my heart won't quit racing.
It's making me dizzy.
Feeling like all the life has left my body.
I'm just feeling completely numb.
I can't believe what this friendship has ultimately become.
How do you stop caring for someone you truly love?
But you just can't.
You've done everything you can think of.
Now having to hide the emotions you're harboring,
Left with no other choice but to move on.
All the support you once felt. Gone.
Seeing you from time to time,
Across a crowded room,
I can't help but to wonder if you see me too.
Or what emotions I might invoke in you.
If everything you told me were lies.
I'm not sure what was true.
Using me as a doormat to wipe your dirty feet on.
Until I pick you up and you found your place to belong.
Always being your voice of reason,
Even though you never treated me right.
I was always loyal.
I never left your side.
I can't count how many times we've fought over the fact you don't seem to appreciate me.
All you do is continue to lie while feeding unfulfilled dreams.
I know what true love on my part feels like because of you.
And it makes me sad that everything you've ever searched for has been sitting beside you.
But you chose to not except it for reasons I will never understand.
I'm convinced you'll always be immature and never grow into being a man.
I feel like I will be fine one day with this outcome.
It's just been hard to see that because of the direction I've been coming from.
As sick as it may seem;
When life fails you once again,
I will be waiting with my arms wide open.
Because that's what true love is.
To love someone even with their terrible faults.
To not believe you're better than that,
To listen and not just react.
Always remembering nobody's perfect.
We learn from our mistakes.
To give and to not just take.
Love is patient. Love is kind.
You're considered lucky if It's something you're able to find.
So if you do....
Don't take advantage of the fact that someone loves you.
Along with the respect,
Don't tear out a heart that you are supposed to protect.

* Written about someone "I used to know"...