Strange Clouds 5/14

The world is black.
It's dark and dangerous through your eyes.
You feel somehow broken and don't understand why.
You desperately search for something as if its been lost.
So you smoke out of a pipe leaving the glass frosted.
With white residue.
Or black.
You take that black and shoot it straight into your arm.
Your feet.
Your thighs.
Any vein you can possibly find.
Flooded with euphoria.
At last.
Right.
You cant handle the thought of those terrible feelings coming back.
You're too busy running at full speed.
Full blast.
Racing.
Chasing.
Tailing.
Falling.
Flying.
Moving.
Heavy breathing.
Or shallow.
None of it matters.
Because all you're thinking about is this moment right here.
Right now.
Not the one when your in search of product to mask the doubts.
Instead, in this moment of being extremely high,
Not a thought could take over.
Not even the thought you might not come back.
You could actually die.
Every single time you take this substance,
While excited.
Smiling.
From this point on,
The only numbers your fingers dial are your dealers.
Addicted to the game.
Of running away.
You create a new life to avoid the one you already had.
The one you were born into.
Little do you know,
That's the life that was written for you.
Intended for you.
With that pipe in one hand,
And a pen in the other,
Your risking the chance of never being found.
You're sitting at the edge of this concrete wall.
Alone on the cold ground.
There is no option.
No getting around it.
Not strong enough to climb it.
The only option is to turn around.
But you say forget it.
I'm comfortable enough in this equally miserable moment.
I'm not worth it.
Nobody loves me.
Suddenly, Sitting with your legs crossed Indian style,
You begin to fall hard.
In the middle of a pity party.
For yourself.
That seems to never end.
Even after you surrender and put down the pen.
Even when you decide to stand up and put down the pipe,
You're still left feeling lost.
As if you're going to die.
You feel hopeless.
And you cant stop crying.
There comes a point where you have realized exactly what you've done.
And what cant be taken back.
Again,
You feel like racing back to the black.
The white.
The grey.
Anything besides colorful.
Beautiful like the rainbow.
You're not ready for that world.
Not functioning normally.
Because of the toll the drugs have taken.
Physically and emotionally.
Now more broken than you've ever been.
Wondering where your brain is!
Where is your common sense!
How did I let this happen!
Calm down baby girl.
As painful as a revelation this may be,
For you and for me,
The devil has been walking you like a dog on a leash.
Just like me.
You've been submissive to a higher power.
One that is pitch black.
You've struggled so hard to find that light.
Until you discovered you've always had one like me by your side.
When you finally start to realize,
You were loved this entire time,
and still are.....
Appearing in this darkness,
There are millions of flickering stars.
Barely flashing.
Just enough for you to pay attention.
Becoming curious about this light,
You're intrigued and want to follow it.
But here you are,
Still chained like a dog.
Take off running towards that light.
Break it.
Be free.
Forever flee.
Start screaming.
Fighting.
Rising.
You don't belong on your knees.
Get up and run free.
You deserve more.
And its literally waiting for you.
If you can just make it to these stars.
I promise you its not that far.
That they are in your reach.
Please don't get me wrong.
I'm no one to preach.
I only chose different broken roads to blindly follow.
Creating my own space inside that is hollow.
Dumping these words in it.
To avoid a syringe.
I'm still not sure if its meant for me.
Or for you.
All I know,
Is that in my own pitch black,
I was more than happy to find you.
I don't know who you are.
Any of you.
But I love you.
All of you.
You should know that we are all in search for skies that are blue.
Filled with rainbows and butterflies.
Fairy tales and endless love.
The happiness exists out there.
If you can bravely walk away from the drugs.