Carnivores 1/14

Where to start.
The holes that have been shot through my heart,
Are slowly healing.
At this moment,
I don't feel like its all being torn apart.
Being alone brings so much out of the unknown.
At times its overwhelmingly painful.
The knowledge you are gaining is at a rapid pace.
Your personality is loud and in every ones face.
You want everyone to walk down this road.
Of the unknown.
The unfamiliar.
To come together.
Like you're telling stories around a campfire.
You want to live to inspire.
Because there was a point in your own life,
Where all you wanted was to expire.
To crawl,
Dig,
Peel back every one of your finger nails,
And toe nails,
To escape your way out of such a dark place,
Brings strength from within you,
You had no clue previously existed.
You realize at moments what you are capable of achieving.
People will tell you not to.
They will tell you to just be you.
Then because of it,
They beat the shit out of you.
But there are problems for some,
When they too,
Don't know themselves.
In a sense,
At times just helpless.
Hopeless.
Bent.
But filled with devotion.
Faith and positivity.
You fight everyday just for a smile.
You'd give it all,
For a healthy release of all the negativity.
And that's what we do.
We fight to remain true.
To remain pure.
We fight to beat the fear.
The mines while you're waiting in your governments lines.
We fight the propaganda.
And the agendas.
Every step you take is depicted.
Disputed.
Distrupted.
Violently ill from the corruption.
People will tell you,
That the less fucks you give,
The less you have to deal with.
But that's bullshit.
What is the point of living then.
Because if you feel that way,
You're already dead within.
My whole life,
I always felt like I cared too much.
The people of this world,
Instilled that thought.
At first I fought it,
And I still do.
I try to escape it like I've been super glued.
At times,
The judgments from others become to painful.
Why cant I just be me,
If that is your valuable advice.
Even if I am crazy.
Or gay.
Why cant I speak these words,
If I live in the land of the free.
Because I would be criticized immensely.
To the point of insanity.
You might as well stone me to death.
Despite my intelligence.
I'm treated like a nuisance.
Because I am full of passion for people.
Love for my planet.
And anger for the people contributing,
To destroy it.
I have goals like many others,
But if I'm not going to college,
A rapper,
Or a professor.
My words,
Thoughts,
And feelings are completely smothered.
Disregarded.
When I voice what I too,
Have accomplished.
When you work hard you should be rewarded.
Not condemned.
Imagine having to hold it all in.
No wonder you live a life of sin.
As I do.
Because this society is blind.
Walking around with black eyes.
When I discover truth,
I love to share it with you.
And why?
Because I'm no longer blinded.
The colors I see now,
Are more than you would ever find in the sky.
I will never apologize for my energy.
And If you don't like it,
Then just stay away from me.
Don't breathe down my throat.
You don't have a say,
A vote,
In my life.
I walk these roads alone.
Because you chose abandonment.
That's not my fault.
I didn't choose my DNA.
So get off of me.
Let me adjust.
To this life of greed and lust.
Excuse me if I snap when I realize I cant.
To you,
I understand its not common sense.
Because its no longer common.
We've been estranged and dived.
Into these individuals.
For a reason.
Blame your government's.
For teaching such stupidity and arrogance.
Excuse me for trying to be independent.
Independent and individually separate.
From that world of carnivores.
Ripping out your soul.
Daily abusing you.
Emotionally.
Mentally.
Physically.
All because they lack your capabilities.
What comes next?
Jealousy.
Envy.
They find you annoying.
Simply because you are different from them.
Instead of seeing and appreciating,
You much you could learn from people with different point of views.
Instead you sit back disgusted.
Assume.
Gossip.
Hate.
And misconstrue.
Everything I say is somehow directly related to you.
"If the shoe fits, Wear it",
Is exactly where Ill leave that.
If having my opinions,
Means disruption,
Then fuck it.
I'm not living my life to please anyone.
And I don't owe explanation's.
I gave them thinking you may have actually wanted them.
But with selfishness,
Comes aimlessness.
No care.
Not for you,
Nor themselves.
That's why they watch from afar.
Judging on the fence.
Never in the game.
Playing from the sidelines.
And then they have the nerve to give you their unwanted advice.
Whispering softly,
To just give up.
Constantly.
I have to fight just to remain full of sanity.
Centered.
Balancing my own scales,
While you pile these words.
And then wonder why I have all these words to speak.
Like I shouldn't be able to voice what has been done to me.
Like I should pretend all these things that truly matter,
Don't.
For you.
To fit in.
To wear the $100 dollar tennis shoe.
To be just like you.
Because only then will you be happy.
Well guess what,
Fuck off.
Because that will never happen.
I was created this way for a reason.
And how dare you make me feel inhuman.
Like an alien with your alienation.
Leaves me pissed off and frustrated.
So instead,
I chose to see these colors.
And continue to paint my own pictures.
Despite critics.
Despite frustration.
Alienation.
The sadness that comes because of it.
And like Mario,
Ill jump in them.
Ready for my next adventure.
While you continue grazing your routine pastures.
Like cattle.
Destined for the slaughter house.
When you realize the differences between us,
Are what you should have appreciated,
I will no longer be answering.
Because I've already beaten it.
Like it was an incurable flesh eating cancer.
I will no longer live in the line of danger.
I will no longer be the target in your firing range.
I might be strange,
But people like you never create change.
Stop hurting others and fix yourself.
That's all I'm trying to personally do.
The blame is no one else's.
I continually tell you to leave me alone,
Because I can feel your negative thoughts.
When you speak them,
Is when I'm shot.
Shut up and let me heal.
Let me exist as a wildflower.
In this land of make believe and fantasy.
Its better than being a piece of meat in yours.
You fucking carnivores.