December Rays 12/14

I'm sitting in a ray of sunshine.
Its December 14th.
2014.
There's still so much pain in the world.
So much hurting.
So much suffering.
Its not right to dwell,
But its not right to not acknowledge it as well.
How can you change something,
If you don't realize there's a problem?
Some place, where its all going wrong.
In order to organize,
Sometimes you just have to go back to the beginning.
No matter how bad you don't want to.
No matter how much it hurts you.
Like walking up current.
Its exhausting.
But its also liberating.
Finding answers.
And some that were never meant to be found.
I feel like that is the reason for what I see when I look around.
Without the pain,
The corruption,
The injustice,
We wouldn't have a purpose.
When people become complacent in large masses,
Bad things will happen.
Things like the Holocaust.
Those who went through it,
Earned respect.
Why was it only when they were tortured?
Why only when they die?
The biggest divide,
In this entire world is religion.
And I will never comprehend it.
Because why does it matter?
When there is this much suffering,
Wouldn't you hope for something better?
Don't you imagine it?
I do.
Everyday.
Its what gets me through most of the days.
Some seem to find that weak.
But this is where you pick up your feet,
And keep on moving.
Learning.
Discovering.
Asking questions.
Offering help.
Loving unconditionally.
Being larger than life itself.
I believe that's the purpose of those crispy thin lines of misunderstood words,
That some believe are nothing but lies.
Its not there to judge.
Its for you,
To look inside.
Pulling out everything that's beautiful.
And applying it with every waking moment.
When I see some who are in the worst pain,
I cant help but to notice,
Its because they don't realize they have a purpose.
They don't see how much they are worth it.
How much they are needed.
They want to question the only positive guide in this life.
And maybe it isn't some judgmental man in the sky.
Its as simple as energy.
Maybe our God,
Is all of us.
Every single one of us.
The ones before us.
Our ancestors.
A combined energy.
Of one.
So large,
And so expansive,
That it never ends.
Its what creates us.
And takes us.
It ends,
Just to begin again.
Sometimes when I think of the future,
I get confused.
Dizzy.
Because I don't feel like we are going forward.
I feel like we are going backwards.
Time is a thought in the first place.
So how can you not see that you have a purpose?
And for you to not question that purpose,
Is almost criminal.
Criminal and hurtful to only yourself.
So the next time I pull my bible off the shelf,
You can go ahead and look at me like I am desperately trying to find a reason.
Because I am.
I am appreciative of the time that I was given.
I know deep inside,
That this is not my home.
If I'm not mistaken,
The time spent here,
Is extremely short.
I feel as if these words at times,
Are my last resort.
To not become who society wants me to be.
As soft as silly putty.
As confused and angry as Hitler himself.
As helpless and as desperate as the million who are starving.
As lost as the drug addicts.
I don't blame them ironically.
As complacent and unaware as the masses.
I cant.
I let this infection run wild until its officially become an abscess.
There has to be a better place then this.
I have no intention of ever forgetting that.
I dream one day to live in it.
Before my time is over.....
I wish to spend my time here,
On this planet,
Loving.
Loving so hard that it hurts me.
So badly.
So deeply.
Repeatedly.