Control Yourself 8/17/13

That moment right before you cry.
Where you can feel right heart aching.
Your breath is fast.
You're panting.
Your eyes start watering.
Uncontrollably because you're so emotional.
Hurt.
Sad.
Mad.
Angry.
Upset.
Alone.
Confused.
Feeling like you've just been physically abused.
Sick.
Ill.
In need of Advil.
For your pounding headache.
Sleep for your heart ache.
Food for your soul.
Friends to console.
In times of need.
When love drops you to your knee's.
In potions where the universe is screaming.
Pray to me.
Believe in me.
Begging for you to listen to your heart.
Even if you are scared.
Walking alone in the cold and in the dark.
No directions.
It seems so long.
So many miles.
So far.
All to have you trip and fall,
Get lost and lose your way.
Your heart is being built like a mosaic.
Sturdy pieces of beautiful glass and tiles.
Representing each time its been broken.
Imagine it in the light.
When its lit up.
So vibrant.
So colorful.
Like rainbows of feelings.
Experiences.
Voices.
Notes.
Float around in your head until you lay down to go to bed.
You're lucky if they even stop then.
I tend to dream.
Fall in love with the make believe.
Just because it exists for some,
Doesn't mean it will exist for you.
Some are different.
It's harder to "fit in".
To find the right fit for the shoe.
I don't know if I ever will.
I don't know if I want to.
Maybe I'm just meant to be free.
From those moments of being dropped to your knees.
Some aren't strong enough.
Rich enough,
To rebuild after the fire.
The blaze.
Things will never be the same.
They'll never be ok.
Everything is charred and ruined from the gallons of water.
Sometimes there is nothing to repair.
You just have to walk away in tears.
Re-build from the ground up.
Call it pessimistic.
I call it realistic.
People are human.
Mistakes are bound.
The repair depends on how profound.
If it tipped your scales to far.
Causing you to crash and burn.
Now there is no trust.
No safe and sound.
You might as well be buried 6 feet deep in the ground.
Dig, claw, climb your way out of there like Its life or death.
Because in fact it is.
You're wasting precious time.
Get out.
Catch your breath.
And run.
Run until you feel like you're having a heart attack.
Never look back.
Find a safe haven to find yourself again.
Don't lose control.
Take control.
Before everything is spinning out of control.
Destined to crash.
If the crash occurs,
Pray for your life.
That you'll be lucky enough to make it out alive.
Still capable of comfortably surviving.