I took a trip to heaven.
I cant seem to figure out if it was a dream,
Or reality.
Its happened more than once.
It happens nearly everyday.
When the sunrises are so beautiful that I don't even have words to say.
Or when the rain makes it easier to inhale.
Replenishing everything.
Even in worldly disasters,
I cant help but to see the bigger picture.
Looking behind the sadness,
The disaster,
Will take away some of the madness.
It will answer questions.
If you ask yourself why enough,
Answers start flying in at midnight train stations,
When you least expect it.
Lights come on to help guide you along.
I don't know if there is a "God".
But what I do know,
Is that my heart is related to a higher power.
I and you,
Are so much more than we allow ourselves to consume.
Skimming the surface,
Will leave you hurting,
With constantly wondering and living without a purpose.
You have to dive deep.
You have to travel beyond defeat.
Let that feeling sink in.
Let it burn.
The longer it hurts,
The more you learn.
Creative people are looking through a kaleidoscope.
Into a different world than the average.
Magical people.
That are "different".
The ones that are picked on as children,
Sometimes grow up to be the ones who create the difference.
You see how all of it works.?
And when you're not learning,
Refusing gravity,
Refusing your purpose,
Something horrible happens that deeply hurts you.
And for even moments,
Your mind travels off its beaten path.
To ask yourself things, You never have.
That's the purpose of being here.
You thought it was to be perfect?
You'll discover the hard way,
How wrong that was all along.
When I was a child,
There wasn't a person who could tell me something I didn't already know.
I knew everything.
That's why I was covered in gasoline.
And lit on fire.
The charred remains,
Had left me without a face or name.
Why do you think this blog of poetry,
Is called a journey?
I'm discovering life,
As an adult.
Because I refused to listen and be like other children.
I wanted to grow at such a fast and rapid pace,
I forced it too soon.
And now I'm back tracking.
Stuck at ten.
That's where "God" stepped in.
He'd never turn his back on one of his children.
Especially children.
He grabbed my hand and showed me heaven.
So that I could try to show you.
Show you that pain is tough love.
Show you that this isn't a game.
Our time is short.
It could always be too late.
Show you that this intense landscape of beauty,
Is the purpose.
On earth, As it is in heaven.
I don't believe there are golden gates.
If there were,
We are already standing there.
Every day is judgment day.
Its not about repenting.
Its about discovering.
If he created all of this,
Then he understands more than you think.
And maybe the He, Is we.
You and I.
And him and her.
WE ARE THE UNIVERSE.
He is us.
And we are him.
The titles are what create the hatred.
By those who cant understand and refuse to learn.
Filled with entitlement.
So they blame everyone and everything for their hurting.
Choices and free will,
Can take you to some pretty dark places.
But I think that's the purpose.
If you truly love,
Then you let it go.
If it comes back,
It was meant to be,
And if it doesn't,
It never was.
Nobody can force you to love and live in light.
If you don't,
That's your choice.
If that's where you want to be,
Then end your own fight.
Turn off the lights.
Be alone and sad.
That is nobodies choice but your own.
Don't blame it on the absence of your dad,
Or the hard times of when you were an undergrad.
Don't blame anybody for putting that pipe or bottle to your mouth.
Or that needle to your own beating heart.
I chose heaven.
I don't know about you,
But not knowing if it exists or not,
Was completely irrelevant.
Even before I "found it".
Because all I ever wanted was to be happy.
So if being seen by others as,
A liberal,
Weak and theatrical,
Believing in a lie,
I can say,
That the only true lie,
Is refusing to believe in something just because you've never seen it.
Just because you haven't,
Doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Refusing to grow,
Is whats weak.
And if believing,
Makes it uncomfortable,
Then I would say there is a problem.
Its not with me.
Without dreaming you're trapping yourself in one reality.
Don't allow the world to brain wash you.
You're stuck at ten too.
But you disowned that child.
When they have something to say,
Is when we get frightened and run away.
When you're weak and vulnerable,
Its easier for evil to find and invade you.
So stop running.
And listen.
As painful as it is,
Love is the reason.
No matter how angry you are that you cannot believe it,
You deserve happiness.
So stop running and hiding from it.
Believe in fairy tales,
And perfect men in the sky.
Look at rainbows,
And cry.
That fact that we are given life,
Right now in this moment,
Is what heaven is all about.
heaven is whatever you choose for it to be.
So if you want to be angry and sad,
Then say goodbye to me.
I'm spreading my wings.
Spending my time,
Being happy and ten,
In heaven with other children.
In this moment.....
I don't even know who I am speaking to.
Is it for me?
Or is it for you?
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