Friday, July 19, 2013

Free To Be Me 6/13




Hope resides in the smallest corner inside of me.
Every truth is distorted.
Hard to believe.
The feeling of wanting to run creates anxiety.
My mind is clustered with insanity.
Over thinking everything when I lay my head down at night.
It begins again in the morning before I even open my eyes.
My seemingly perfect self image creates expectations.
Boundaries.
I want to shave my head.
Be free.
Let my hair fall to the floor along with every tear.
Walk away with my head held high.
Leaving them there.
On the floor where they belong.
Not on my face.
I don't care anymore if I win this rat race.
I'm doing me at any and all costs.
No strings.
No masters.
I'm the boss.
I say how it goes from now on.
I'll show you more than you ever believed,
Past these straight teeth and this blonde.
I bet as you're reading this it feels like a song.
And I guess you could say that.
Regardless, I'm getting it out.
Like I'm spitting tacks.
Nails without a doubt.
Seems as if I'm derailing.
But its in fact the exact opposite.
I'm clearing my thoughts.
Crossing T's.
Dotting I's I forgot.
Remembering who I truly am.
The minute the pen reaches my hand.
These thoughts are pouring out on paper,
Like its going to be the only thing to save me later.
To remember my journey.
Keep the peace.
Feel the harmony.
Listen to the melodies.
This is my remedy.
My crazy pill.
The sunshine that is always waiting over the hill.
I let go.
Even for seconds.
Stepping foot off the airplane at extreme altitudes.
Flying.
Falling
Free.
Not every time is a perfect landing.
But the minute its over you want to do it again.
Why?
Because you felt completely alive.

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