The End Of My Time 7/30/12

How do you deal with heart ache.
I guess it would depend on how it breaks.
Or who may have broke it.
Life is a road of sorrows.
The moments of pure happiness are few and far in between.
Because let's face it.
We are alone.
We are not together.
Most don't have the support from a team.
Bills pile up.
Loved ones pass.
Its no longer half full.
It's not even a clear glass.
life is no longer filled with imagination.
Or usually a moment of relaxation.
No longer an awesome dream.
A dream you don't want to wake up from.
Its just too good to be true.
Theres' some people, Maybe unlike you,
Who these moments rarely happen to.
For reasons only known by God.
You were chosen for this life.
A life where maybe you were never meant to bear your own children.
You were never meant to be a wife.
And its not at all like when your ten. For play. For pretend.
Possibly put on this earth for bigger reasons.
Maybe to save others lives.
At times the world can look so calm.
Seems to only be at night.
Then comes dawn.
Most start their day with a routine.
And never break away from that.
Living life and not thinking about how its over so fast.
I can't help but to constantly want answers for every one of my million questions.
Eventually its going to be like running out of gas with no near by gas station.
I'm tired. Really tired.
It's hard to find things left that I completely admire.
I feel like my own dreams were smothered.
That doesn't matter now because I am a mother.
This is my purpose.
And I have never felt like life was more worth it.
Or more with living.
Until her.
Jocelyn Juelz is her name.
I didn't truly start living until that day.
August 13th 2010 at 10:49 she came.
I'm finding that the littlest things in life are what keeps holding the spot lights.
It's not always bad.
It's not always good.
But I'm thankful still.
Like I should.
Because I am here for her.
I am here as her guide.
And for that reason I will always work on whats inside.
To be my very best.
To love that I have a life.
Be thankful for my heart beat.
Thankful for hers.
To look forward to seeing loved ones lost.
When this life is over.
Accept that nothing will ever be like it was before.
Nothing lasts forever.
And not be scared when my time comes.
When It's all finally at its end.
When I drop dead to the floor.
Don't cry for me.
Because I am still living.
In my legacy.
In my daughter.
And I will forever be at peace knowing,
If nothing else,
I was an amazing mother.