Conflicted 12/12

Love can be conflicted.
At times it can seem so vicious.
Factious.
Alluring, But mysterious.
Strong, Warm, Kind, Divine.
Sometimes all at the same time.
it can bring you to the darkest places.
When you close your eyes,
That's the only way now to see their faces.
Time ends.
Your spirit never does.
You cant see them.
But they are right there,
Your loved ones.
Then there's the love that is as white as dove.
As pure as freshly fallen snow.
When your heart starts falling,
You want everyone to know.
You want everyone to be happy.
There are so many different kinds.
Like the love a child gets from her mommy or daddy.
Also like the love you have for your babies.
No matter how scared you are,
Its at every single corner.
In every single face.
It's the air we breath.
It's all over the place.
Then, There is the sick love.
The kind that restricts your breathing.
And grabs you from behind.
It's the one that in your mind,
You know isn't right.
Because it doesn't feel right.
It feels wrong.
For one reason or another.
Sometimes its best to get away.
Move along.
Take whats yours and leave the rest.
The bad is what creates the best.
In you.
So don't be afraid of the next test.
The next fall without a parachute.
This is life.
Not an execution.
You will be fine.
In time...
When the right love comes along,
You'll know it.
Because your not just glowing.
There's literally a fire inside that's been lit.
This love makes you want to be the best possible.
The lead role.
To set an example.
And then run.
As fast as you possibly can.
until you die.
Never give up until you forever close your eyes.
Make more of an effort than "try".
Thinking of it now,
Makes me want to cry.
Because lets face it.
It is so scary.
Even knowing its right.
Because you have to give this person everything.
Your heart.
Your soul.
Your life.
In hopes,
That this great gift of true love is respected.
That you love me.
Unconditionally.
Accept me.
Encourage me.
That you'll always be true and protect me.
Protect my heart.
If it ends,
There will be a permanent scar.
But.....What if it doesn't?
What if I could live my whole life,
With my best friend.
What if he was true.
Until we die.
Until the end.
What if he loved me like I was the only girl in the world.
What if he made me smile everyday.
Without ever saying a word.
What if when he kissed me,
I felt butterflies.
Every time.
What if there was a mutual respect.
And he never told lies.
What if he never intentionally made me cry.
I could live forever not knowing if I didn't try.
So walk to that ledge.
feel the gravel under your feet.
Your unsturdy stance.
Your shaking hands.
Your shirt is wet, From sweat.
Breath through those million breaths per minute.
You're larger than you believe.
Stronger.
Smarter.
Not so small.
So walk to that ledge.
Feet together.
Arms out.
Close your eyes.
Smile and fall.