And the truth is,
That they're right.
I am.
But after speaking such a powerful statement,
Do you even wonder why?
or do you just judge me for it?
I almost killed myself,
Just to see the glass that's half full.
I was on cloud 9 when I discovered it.
But my true self slowly started creeping in.
Reminding me to never become too happy.
Because theres too much heartache, pain, and war in this world,
For that to be ok.
So I blow the walls out of this box.
The four sides dropped.
And what I was standing in the middle of,
Was chaos.
Absolute pandemonium.
So many atrocities,
That running for the hills was my first instinct.
I wanted to hide.
I was desperate to get away.
Until i discovered my purpose,
Was to be in the middle of it.
Painfully finding my way through it,
While helping others up along the way.
Why?
Because I know how badly it hurts to feel broken and scared.
But as I'm stumbling through it,
Bleeding from every orifice,
I'm feeling angrier by the second.
How does it even come to this?
One single apple can really spoil the whole bunch huh?
Where did we go so wrong?
We should have never planted feet on ancient burial grounds.
We have never taken what was not ours.
We should not have hurt people,
To get head ourselves.
There's karmic consequence's.
The universe is real.
Its vast.
Its smarter than you are.
Or I.
So lets be honest.
Theres no way we are just going to get out of it.
we have to fix the karmic order.
Creating more good than we do bad.
So here I am.
Sitting on the pendulum swing.
Wasting my time trying to find a balance.
There isn't one.
Because the bad in this world,
Out weighs the good.
I did that whole find the silver lining,
And look at the cup half full too.
But that's part of the problem.
IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS.
You should be ashamed of such a selfish statement.
Theres children starving.
Sex trafficking.
And people have the right to say slavery was so many years ago?
Fools.
In this case,
It doesn't even have anything to do with color!
Just people using people for profit.
The worst part isn't even the human being capable of doing that to another human being.
Its the people who are buying them.
And right around this time,
Is when I feel like screaming.
Because someone is wondering why I'm not smiling.
Because I'm not like you.
That's why.
Because I cant forget.
I cant not acknowledge those people who are begging for us to find them.
I cant put myself first,
While telling myself its none of my concern.
Theres nothing I can do.
Yes there is!!!!!
SPEAK UP FOR THEM.
Talk about things that matter.
No offense,
But we aren't that important.
Our petty little wants,
Are pathetic compared to the kid who just wants to eat after 14 days.
45 minute showers,
Water straight down the drain.
When theres a child walking on average 4-6 miles in West Africa just to obtain a drop of it.
I cant go about my daily routines,
Without thinking of these things.
Wasteful.
Don't even get me started.
Because sadly this is already too long of a read,
For the average lazy American.
I was raised in a country,
Where a women's worth,
Is based off of her outward beauty.
If shes attractive,
She'll have better opportunity.
For everything.
Raised in a country,
Where finding a decent man,
Is a chance one in a million.
Absent fathers.
And over worked single mothers.
Our government,
Uses us.
Instead of caring about us.
The vales are everywhere.
The manipulation is intense.
And because I'm affected by injustices,
I'm told I have a mental illness.
Is my frustration making any sense yet?
Does my anger have a purpose?
Why isn't all of this common?
Why am I considered to be so "different"?
Its simple.
Because I care about all the things I was never suppose to never care about.
I'm the governments exception.
The plan didn't work for some.
Because they grew up without money.
They grew up without television,
Toys and candy.
They couldn't afford the sugar.
The well thought out manipulation didn't work in my case.
I stayed up late.
Reading the only books I had.
Encyclopedias.
Learning about the world.
I was overly curious.
With so many questions.
From the first memories I had,
They were questions.
Starting with,
Why God?
Why did you create me,
Just to hurt me?
He didn't.
He created me this way on purpose,
And sent me here for a reason.
To fight.
I'm suppose to fight for what isn't right.
I'm suppose to care about my neighbors.
Help them.
I'm suppose to grow ten thousand limbs to extend.
I live on planet earth.
Not in a country or on a single continent.
I didn't divide into multiple cells,
Outgrowing the womb,
Born into this,
Just to give up.
To give up when I think I'm satisfied with what I've got.
because there's billion who have been left behind or forgotten.
So please.
Tell me again how miserable I am.
Ready, set, go.
And I will waste no time shredding your ego.
I accept people for who they are.
But that doesn't mean I need to tolerate or associate with it.
There's too much suffering in this world,
To spend my time convincing myself what I can be happy.
Without doing what my heart screams at me that I should be doing.
So I'm sorry that I'm not sorry.
I cannot care what you think of me.
You have the right to remain on cloud 9.
Just don't hate me for wanting to be down here on earth,
Fulfilling my purpose.
I'm angriest,
Because I know I have no choice but to endure it until my time ends.
Existing in a very sick world.
Its hard to be a good girl.
The real question though is,
How can YOU feel so happy?
