Let me tell you a true story;
You trap me in these mazes.
It's all so confusing.
Like the importance of my own happiness is forgotten.
Forced to live my life in phases.
Most days I feel like I cant take it.
So I ask myself again why.
Why do I stay.
Stay in this vulnerable place of chaos.
Where the air is so thin.
It's hard to breathe.
You look at your reflection and should see beauty.
But after getting lost through these mazes,
Your mascara is running.
It's all over your face.
Like you've just walked the PCT.
Heart rate,
At 151.
Anything beautiful turns out to be another delusion.
In this imaginary world.
You're e a wreck.
In desperate need of one thing.
Water.
And It's nowhere to be found.
Traumatic experience's change you.
No matter how much you don't want them to.
You cant stop crying.
Because a piece of you has died.
It's gone forever.
Like you're mourning.
You can't give up.
So here you are.
Barely breathing.
Suffocating and crawling.
Keep breathing.
Keep crawling.
Until you can kneel.
Kneel until you can stand.
Once you're standing,
Take off running.
Never to return again.
Visiting your past,
Is much different than staying.
Reminiscing,
Is important.
It reminds you of where you've been.
Your lessons learned.
Bury the lessons.
And let go of the rest.
Including the memory.
Your dreams,
Remind you of your future.
It's like a ride at Six-flags.
Really scary.
But at times,
You can't deny that it's overwhelmingly exciting.
That's how mazes usually begin.
With fun.
Excitement.
Love.
Adventure.
Until you start getting lost.
Now you're just frustrated.
You wasted so much time.
That now it's late.
It's dark.
The sun has set.
Just you.
Roaming aimlessly through the never ending,
Tallest hedges.
Nobody can help.
That's when you started crying.
But eventually when you regain composure,
And pull yourself together.
Your mind will begin to clear with a more positive atmosphere.
You map out a plan of getting out and never coming back.
The minute you reach the end of this maze,
You have a smile that shouldn't be there on your face.
That experience,
Although terrifying,
Life altering,
Scaring.
Was so exhilarating.
Liberating.
Before jumping,
Without a parachute.
As hard as it is to be thankful for almost dying,
Or dealing with death,
It's over.
You're still lucky enough to be here.
To have so much life to live.
Live it.
Love it.
Never carry regrets.
Let those lessons blow away in the wind.
Like Pocahontas would do,
Talk to your grandmother.
And if you don't have one anymore,
Go find a quiet willow tree.
Sit there in the silence.
The peace.
Don't listen.
Feel.
Everything.
Your heart will always guide you.
It will never steer you wrong.
Trust it.
Sit.
Feel that gentle wind.
The leaves are speaking.
Listen to the ocean.
Everything is alive.
Constantly changing.
And so are you.
Find love for yourself,
And this universe.
Before you ever love anyone else.
It will be full of painful lessons.
That at times,
Need to be learned.
They are the only strong enough teachers.
To these out of control children and rebel students.
This planet is spinning.
Can you feel it.
Love can mean the most pain you have ever felt.
Within two seconds the universe will give it to you all over again.
It's in so many forms.
A man,
Or women,
Is not who I am in desperate need from it from.
I'm desperate for the planets.
The stars.
The sun.
Science.
Time traveling.
Anomalies.
Mystery.
Theories.
Miracles.
My family.
God.
Anything that's actually worth the time.
Lost souls.
Like I.
Lonely strangers,
Let me save you,
Before I die.
Because I don't know that I can save me.
I will dig out my lessons eventually.
One day,
I'll be strong enough to face them.
With the help from those who are listening.
