Words Are My Crazy Pills 1/15

Stretching.
Tearing.
Binding.
Racing.
Racing through life so fast.
There is never a minute to relax.
Feeling as if I have multiple lifetimes of work,
Jam packed into one.
For some unknown reason.
Left for me to find.

In this race and feeling as if I'm running out of time.
Some believe people who die young,
Feel it coming long before it actually happening.
Sometimes I wonder if that's why I'm panicking.
Even with these thousands of words,
They wont ever be a fraction in comparison.
Of what I have discovered and experienced.

I always wondered,
Why me?
I spent my entire life filled with questions.
Negative emotions.
Controlling my abilities.
My free will.
Reducing me down to labels.
I have to fight the same society I have no choice but to survive in.
Because I am "different".

My society doesn't seem to usually like that.
They desperately try to mold you the minute they figure it out.
And when they cant,
You're tortured.
Ridiculed.
Whispers.
Fingers.
Rumors.
Enemies.
Disguised so well as best friends.
All to get close.
For information.

To fuel this blazing fire lit within most humans.
Ironically,
Even after death,
Negative energy is what gives evil spirits more energy.
To go around terrorizing.
It happens everyday.
Even before you die.
The only ones who seem to cannot be able to understand this,
Are the ones who were born in a horse drawn carriage.
They weren't mistreated.
Manipulated.
Abused.
They were held.
Consoled.
They were never treated like an animal.

Their perspective isn't their fault.
Because even as an adult,
Some of those perceptions are just too ingrained.
And changing,
Would mean abandoning,
Everything you ever knew.
Abandoning you.
You, yourself.
Having to leave that person behind.
Set out on a journey with nothing but the clothes on your back.
No money.
No love.
Not even for yourself.
The one you just abandoned.

Now you have to start over,
And learn how to have that all over again.
Experiencing it as a different person.
With a new perspective.
Nothing will ever be the same.
The complacent and comfortable ones,
Just aren't strong enough.
So the few left that are,
Huddle together,
Wishing on stars.
Spending everyday,
Exhausting ourselves,
Just to open a few eyes.
Or hearts.
However you look at it.

I wonder if any of them also have this feeling as if they are desperately running out of time?
Why else are we the only extremely passionate ones?
I try to make sense of everything that doesn't.
I want answers.
I want love.
Peace.
Justice.
And not just for me.
For everybody!
Without understanding,
Empathy,
And compassion,
We will never be a united nation.

Forget what your government tells you.
Its all lies and manipulation anyway.
They want you to grow up on welfare and food stamps.
There's no other reason,
Why a soldier of war,
Makes less than your average congressman.
Tupac once said,
"They got a war on drugs instead of a war on poverty so that the police can bother me".

Social workers, advertising children on craigslist.
Like they are a paycheck.
Police will never stop killing.
Without crime,
Even if there isn't one,
They don't get paid.
Filling food with cancer causing additives.
To make you sick.
So that you need medicine.
So that you need to see a doctor often.
An 8 week round of chemotherapy,
Costs roughly, 30,000.
Coincidence?

We haven't found even one cure to any form of cancer?
Susan G Komen,
Is donated to for no reason other than to fill the CEO's pockets.
They cant offer you breast screening,
But the CEO walks home with almost a half a million?
Nobody questions why history doesn't speak of pharmaceutical industries.
Purposely hurting you,
As it leaves a trail of money.
Your hard earned money.
Spending on average,
8 hours a day if your "lucky",
Away from your children and families.
The people who are most important.
For money that you never even see.
And when you do get to spend it,
On necessities especially,
So many are just left with nothing and struggling.
No rewards.
No vacations at Disneyland for deserving children.

Hard working citizens.
Men who spend their entire lives outside.
In every condition.
Breaking backs.
Building homes we lack the time to spend in.
The commercial building.
Where this robot life begins.
The public school system;
Where only a few short hours are what's needed,
For any decent curriculum,
But yet,
Children spend as much time at school,
As you do at work.
Practically being tortured.
Over worked.
For no reason.

Some children expiernce such horrible things because of absent adults.
Even at their "safe" school,
With their unsuspecting teachers.
Bullies exist in every single one of them.
We blindly follow hundred year old declarations,
Written by men in wings.
When so much has changed since then.
With how fast our world changes,
Have you ever wondered why that doesn't?
Or religion for that matter?
Have you ever wondered if Earth was an experiment?
How they know so much and hide it?
For what reason?
"Predictions" made by ancestors,
Seem to be nothing but stories.
The proof is disappearing.

History is being erased.
Changed.
Distorted.
Aborted.
You don't ever question whether your mind is unknowingly being controlled?
Before looking at me like I am crazy,
Go take a look around.....And then get back to me.
The only thing I do believe,
Is that we still have a chance to change these things.
If people chose to make a difference,
Then your children would be safer.
Happier.
The world could for once rejoice in laughter.
Instead of weeping together.

Decide today,
To never be the same.
To never be reduced to a label.
You are more than your body.
More than your mind.
You are more than a programmed robot without a face or name.
You are a human being.
With a face.
With a name.
With a family.
Find the courage to care more for anything besides yourself,
And that tiny contribution makes a large impact in this world.
I'm absolutely positive of that fact.

Food For Your Soul 1/15

This is for people of color.
I say that because without it,
Nobody will stop to hear it.
To see me.
Actually hear me.
As a colorless human being.
Understand me, for me.
Instead of basing every opinion,
Off of what you think when you look at me.
Thinking that beauty takes away from life expedience.
What this corrupt world has taught.
Or broken history has taught for that matter.
The public school system,
Is a laughing matter.
Then I became a mother,
Suddenly the world was colorless.
Most find all the beauty in those moments.
But I didn't.
I saw everything I didn't know I was scared of.
Apprehensive of.
Afraid of this world that my perfect daughter was just birthed in to.
I started ripping apart fairy tales.
Novels.
Book's.
Encyclopedia's.
Walking through spiritual worlds.
Learning history on my own free will.
Listening to insane theories.
Asking questions.
Living in fantasies.
And living obsessed with the science to everything.
I chose to not feel bliss, by ignorance.
I chose to see people,
And this world for what it is.
This life has nothing to do with anything other than money.
For so  many.
In some way eventually,
That's what it will come down to.
The ghettos.
The suburbs.
Religion.
Sickness and cancer.
Corrupt laws.
Stereo types.
The projects.
War.
Guns.
Drugs.
Violence.
Poverty.
There's no self love.
Raised from children,
To have and live with a certain perception.
Certain expectations.
Never led by example.
Becoming an adult,
For some,
That perception starts shattering.
Violently.
Making you angry.
Reckless.
And judgmental.
Or maybe for some,
That's just what they lived since they were an infant.
Raised with hate.
All of us.
All around us.
For or from, one thing to another.
Parents aren't super human.
But treated and expected to be as such.
And when the stitches start falling apart,
And the family tree starts crumbling,
The blame is misplaced.
From everything to rap music.
Models.
Social media.
Drugs.
Violence.
And I don't believe that's the case.
Influenced?
For some, maybe.
But the ultimate problem starts at home.
Nobody seems to be strong enough these days,
To take responsibility.
We are all just blaming cops for black people dying.
The statistics will show you,
Clearly there is a problem.
But is it really with race?
Or is it with stereo typing?
Of every race.
I would like to argue the white privilege label within my country.
Because although I'm not ignorant enough to know that it isn't non existent,
It exist because we all allow this bullshit.
We don't just allow it,
We fuel it.
Like we need it.
Some chose to forever be a victim.
Needing extra attention.
From a lack of self confidence.
Constantly needing reassurance from an entire nation.
If you think that me,
Being white means that I've never truly experienced racism,
You're nothing more than a self loathing hypocrite.
I too, get so much shit,
Than you could imagine,
All because of the color of my skin.
I'm not even just white.
I'm also Native American.
You don't think I'm frustrated too?
I'm no longer seen as a person by some,
But as an entire race when voicing my opinion.
At first,
The conversation or debate is rational.
And then frustration from different perspectives and perceptions,
Alters opinions and masks true feelings.
People will attack you.
Humiliate you.
If you wont bend and be or think like them.
Like being different than the masses should be a sin.
The unconditional love scares them.
Because of the minions living within them.
Negative souls don't just feed off of negative energy only after death.
Its all around us.
In every fast asleep, or waking moment.
So why is it when looking into faces,
That we just cant seem to look past races.
If our souls have color,
Then I would have to argue its the same as the rainbow.
I cant help but to see the world for what it really is,
But more than that,
See it for what it isn't.
What it could be.
If people could just lay down their personal belief's.
If they could be more open to something their mind doesn't understand or even believe.
Just like when we were children;
Living in these broken, thoughtless, public school systems,
We learned because we studied.
Building skills over time.
The problem in our world today,
Is entitlement.
And not just coming from some spoiled rotten children, of any color.
The greatest people in our history lived serving.
So what makes us think we are any different?
If you don't see me for me,
Based off of a nationality,
I cant change that.
I can only try to deliver my true feelings,
And break through the labels and stereo typing.
I'm sure there's some reading this right now,
With their own label gun firing upon me.
Working so hard.
Its jamming.
Again, making you feel frustrated.
I will never allow negative energy or color of any kind,
Get in the way of the practice of compassion.
Its not a skill we are born with.
And when I look around,
Or voice my opinion,
Then have my character shredded,
Is my evidence.
As a child,
I was taught to treat others, how you would like to be treated.
I always believed it.
By a mother who was raised by a racist father.
It nearly killed her to break the cycle.
When it came to hate.
She told us she loved us every single day.
Because love is more powerful than hate any day.
Don't try to argue that.
Because you're already too late.
I don't live in that kind of place.
I live in a place similar to the day of August 28th, 1963.
When Martin Luther King Jr delivered his "I Have A Dream" speech.
A place filled with faith and hope.
A place where love is the antidote.
A place where the love and acceptance we give one another,
Changes history forever.
Re printing children's history books all over the world.
Showing them that its never too late.
Showing them by being the example.
Martin is gone.
May his soul forever rest in peace.
Before looking at me,
Like these things wouldn't matter to me,
Look past my physical features.
Look past the surface beauty.
And see my rainbow colored soul.